My hair reeks of homosexuality.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
