i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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