i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
