I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize