So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
