Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
