Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
