Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
