I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
