sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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