I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
