Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
