Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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