Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
