I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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