We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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