Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Everything about him screamed your future.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
