I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
