How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
