I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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