you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
