whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
