I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
