She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
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