The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
this must be what syphilis tastes like
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
