Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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