His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
