he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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