Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
