I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
dude i'm inner monologue high
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
