C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
It's rum buckets o'clock
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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