well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
