are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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