sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
