bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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