barbara walters just said penis...
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
