So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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