hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
