That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
