yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
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