Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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