You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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