Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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