Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
