i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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