Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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