sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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