why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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