I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
When are your genitals available?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
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