are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
