You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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