It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
