Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize