I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
