I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
