I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
