Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
