My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
