But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
