i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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