The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
wanna go halves on a baby?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
