ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
